For as many as twenty five years, I’ve been into writing. It started as an adolescent writing love poems to the various crushes I had, but never had the nerve to send them. And then I discovered a darker side to me which I embraced and wrote through that as well.
All these years later, I have recently discovered my old folder of writing that I thought had long gone. Lost in one house move or the other. What I found inside were some cringeworthy poems, a collection of very short stories, more like passages really as well as some photos (left) a friend of mine took of me for his A-Level course at college.
So my dilemma is this: Do I publish those poems and shorts to illustrate my state of mind as a late teenager and allow my readers to comment on the atrocious state of the prose, or do I keep them under lock and key to be reserved only for, well, I don’t know…whomever I decide to show them to?
Thinking about this even more. I wonder if anyone else would put their oldest work on display, their first attempts at writing something that someone may enjoy reading. Would anyone really put their old love poems on display these days, knowing that somewhere in that poem, a heart was breaking whilst writing it?
Is it actually a good idea to be publishing such old dross (as mine is, in my opinion). What will my readers (you!) think of it? Does it matter any more, because it was such a long time ago. I think not, but then again, I’m not really sure. The only thing I can do is just go for it, I suppose.
Here’s an example (and I can’t believe I am doing this!):
(30th November 1996)
But the really bad thing about this poem is, (other than I don’t think it is very good) is that I only vaguely remember who I wrote it for. I’m not naming names though. That’s bad isn’t it?
The past is there to be remembered and if I go ahead and publish some of my old poetry and shorts, perhaps it is bringing back stuff that shouldn’t be here at this point in time. I would guess that everything I wrote in the past is there for me to learn from now, but I think my own critical eye could be the reason why none of you get to read anything I wrote more than two years ago.
If you would like me to post my romantic and dark past, please do let me know!